Bella & The Bagel Shop
by Konomaru
Summary: Please thank iluvmyvampire & notes galore! And well, the cullens have been up to a lot and when bells gets a bagel shop, life gets harder even for a vampire. I dont use cuss words even cr .
1. The deadly bagel shop

Bella & The Bagel Shop! CHP 1!

**Bella **_**Edward **__**Alice.**_

A/N Okay I got this from my bro iluvmyvampire AND I want to thank nosuchtingashappilyeverafter without them I wouldnt know what Twilight was...so umm ya enjoy (if it sucks tell me)

**OMG!**

_**What?**_

**I should so totally open...A BAGEL SHOP!**

_**Why do I want to know?**_

_**HoHoHo! merry umm samantha mas?**_

_**God...(crud)**_

**ALICE-POO! **PS Sorry notes galore, hey im advertising for you no need to thank me.

_**BELLA-umm Poo?I got you....A BAGEL SHOP...IN VEGAS! THEY ARE MOVING IT HERE NOW!!! EDDY I USED YOUR BANK ACCOUNT..,YOU ONLY GOT 2$ LEFT!**_

_**____... GET BACK HERE!!**_

_**THUMP!!!**_

**MY BAGEL SSSSHHHHHHHOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPP!!**

May I buy a bagel?

**OKAY! ONE BLOOD BAGEL COMIN UP!**

Blood?

**Here you go ma'am!Is it good?!**

**THUMP!**

**HUH?!! She must have died it was so good!**

_**She is going to kill us all!**_

_**She is going to kill us all!**_

**A/N PLEASE REVIEV ITS MY FIRST TWILIGHT FANFIC!**


	2. Bella, you killed the president

Bella & The Bagel Shop! CHP 2!

**Bella **_**Edward **__**Alice. **_ President Legab/bagel backwards

A/N Okay WEIRD,lets start this thing so I dont post boring Crud,U SEND ME IDEAS SO I CAN BLAME YOU IF IT SUCKS!...so umm ya enjoy (if it sucks tell me)

**OMG!**

_**What?!**_

**THE PRESIDENT!!**

_**Bella,love that is a sign with a pic of Bush wearing a beard and abes hat...**_

**NO! ITS LEGAB, HOW DID HE GET IN BELLAS BAGEL SHOP THAT I STARTED AFTER THAT WOMAN DIED OF GOOD TASTE?**

**What would you like sir?**

I will get re-elected!

_**(Great it talks stupid crud....)**_

**One blood bagel comin right up **_**SIR!!**_

**THUMP!**

_**Good grief it fell ova! when did you get into politics anyway im a vampire and I dont care.**_

**Sniffle I-I-KILLED HIM! AND * SNIFFLE* VAMPIRES READ BOOKS FULL OF ____ CRUD!**

_**OH I forgot to take this hunk home, sorry bells.**_

_**See?!**_

**OOOOHHHH....I told you.. BAGELS!!!**

**A/N See Told you WEIRD!!! COCOO! **


	3. Oh no! NO, not the AGAIN!

Bella & The Bagel Shop! CHP 3!

**Bella **_**Edward **__**Alice.**_ Jacob

A/N Okay .I dont even really know twilight but it sounds good so..ya ill stick with that...so umm ya enjoy (if it sucks tell me)

**OMG!**

This time I say. What?!

**HEY YOU'RE NOT EDDY-POO!!Anyway,EEEEKKKKKK!!**

_**OMG! YOU THINKING OF STARTING THE...AGAIN?**_

_**Bella+Alice:THE BALICE ALL OVA AGAIN!**_

OOOHHHH GOD NO! YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT OVA AGAIN...IN THE BAGEL SHOP?!

**NO! NOT THE BAGEL SHOP! YOUR HOUSE!!**

_**NOW ONCE AGAIN WE MUST BECOME NINJA PIRATE SANTA ASTRONAUGHT MONKEY DOGS!**_

**TO ZEE ZOO!**

_OH NO! JACOB I LET YOU ALONE 2 MINUETS AND YOU CANT STOP THEM FROM DOING THIS AGAIN? BIG HELP YOU ARE! I OUGHTA-._

Im Leaving now..

Ya,no need to tell me it sucked! I NEED IDEAS PEOPLE!!

ya, I need a chill pill...REVIEW!!!NOW!(wow I really need a chill pill!)


	4. Girls club!

Bella & The Bagel Shop! CHP 4!

**Bella ****Rose**___**Alice **_Eddy-poo_ BUTT LIAR_

A/N Okay Im gonna start typing like mad..And after 3 SHORT chps I offically call myself a BADBADBADBADBAD typer, : I dont own twi/twilight characters im gonna cry.....

Ps.i leave CAPS on cause they are yelling the whole entire time. ;/,ghv;lbhvj

**GIRLS CLUB! **_**THRONG!THRONG!**_

**BELLS,DONT NEED TO RING THAT CALLS THE BUTT-LIAR.**

_YES. BELL-DUHH?_

**I WANT A BAGEL MONKEY THAT KNOWS HOW TO GOLF!**

_YESSSSSS,MA-AM..._

_**K. LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS! AHEM! DOES ANY KNOW WHY WE ARE HERE?**_

**Nope.**

**YES! I LIKE BAGELS! AND BECAUSE- UMM WE ARE THE GIRLS OF AMERIBAGEL OHHO!**

_**OTHER THAN BELLS AWNSER?**_

_You came so you could annoy me, remember?_

**OH YEAH THANKS BUTT LIAR!**

**UMM BELLS. THIS IS COOL AND ALL BUT...**

**YES?WHAT?COME ON!**

**Why are we yelling in Eds room while he is asleep?**

_**Because umm I wa-**_

BELLA! ALICE! ROSE! Bells love can you get out? This will be UGLY!

_Here is your monkey..._

bells WHY is there a monkey?

**Lets go play golf!**

**A/N Okay I got bored so ya, I took my pills So..Review? Pretty Please?!**


	5. RRRRAAAAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDOOOOOMMMMMMMM

Bella & The Bagel Shop! CHP 5!

_Bella _**Mike** Edward

**A/N Okay this is the most random weird silly idiotic suckish piece of garbage crud EVER. So ya enjoyhate it **

_I like do da boom sha _

**Poo on goo goes ka boom!**

Looky a rocket a car oh wait its a squirell r wait . Now its dead.

_BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL!!!!!!_

_DUH SA KAG_

**GOO HOOHHOOH.**

CRUD IS DUD AND DUD ISINT A WORD!

_AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

_BBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A SHEEP_

_**A/n**_** TTTTTTOOOOOOLLLLLLLLDDDDDD YYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR**

**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!! **


	6. Poison the old little Lady?

Bella & The Bagel Shop! CHP 5!

_Bella _**Mike** Edward

**A/N Okay This is well uhh umm ya, just read.**

**A bagel shop !**

_YA DUDE?_

**Let me show you how to make a bagel, real way!**

_OK!_

MUUUUUCCCCHHH ,im leaving.

_Hello ma-am would you like a bagel,?_

My grandma died because of you ___. Why yes little lady I do, thank you I appreciate this.

_Okay?_

_Here ya go._

Gasp sputter slice squirt!

_OMG!_

What?!

_I have seen it all!I just saw a little lady eat a bagel, take a sword from a ninja and slice her head off!_

UUUUUGGGGGHHHHH! Are you sure you haven't been playing around with aspirin?

_NO!I JUST USED THIS TASTEY AWSOMENESS EXERCISE SAUCE!_

POISON!?!

**UMM OHH SEE UHH OH BOY,...**

**GASP SPUTTER H-HELP GASP!**

**A/N Okay ED just committed half suicide!**


	7. The really short chapter!

Bella & the Bagel Shop! C 7!

**Bella **_**Edward.**_

**Eddy-poo, were there any bloodians "in way back when"?**

_**No.**_

**But our books say:**

**When blood is blood, which is always. It turns into bloodians. Which I am being attacked by now----!**

_**Bella. That is a... OMG! Bella! Where did you find that?!**_

**Under your bed.**

_**Bella! Thats "The guide on being stupid"**_

**Why was under your bed?**

_**The book is stupid and so is our neighbors...What?! I need ammo! Anyway, Writer! Stop making short stories!And making me look dweebish! THIS IS WWWAAAYYY TOO SHORT!**_


	8. Chapter 8

Bella & The Bagel Shop! C 9? I remember! C 9 Part 2!

**Bella**_**`Alice**__**`Edward **_**???**

**Huh? Oh my! They are here?! Heh Perfect! Fresh food!**

Well. Is this our cabin?A/N Oh yeah! I forgot A/N! Well im leaving soon so umm ya I-I guess that's…IT?

_**Umm bella.. I saw a werewolf!HAH! GOTCHA!**_

OMG! EDDY! LOOK! Its JACOB!A/N GOT YA THERE!

**Hello gang! Wat up?**

_**Jacob?!**_

Whoa! Unexpected! Wat up Big Doggie?

**Well… I just came here looking for a cabin…Do you have one?**

_Yeah! Its right here! But… well… I guess you can keep alice quiet…(or eat her)_

Umm Well you see*Cough* I have no shelter…Uh Whats Bella doing.? Why is she…sucking on…the…cabin?

BAGEL CABINS TASTE GOOD!Umm luv… You don't know how many dogs pee on that wood… Or poo…BLAST* Im bella I blew up the cabin umm.. Im in big…trouble?BELLA!!! WE ARE OUTTA HERE! Jacob. Need a ride?A/N No need To tell me it sucked… 


	9. snow cabin

Bella & The Bagel Shop! C 9? I remember! C 9 Part 2!

**Bella**_**`Alice**__**`Edward **_**???**

**Huh? Oh my! They are here?! Heh Perfect! Fresh food!**

Well. Is this our cabin?A/N Oh yeah! I forgot A/N! Well im leaving soon so umm ya I-I guess that's…IT?

_**Umm bella.. I saw a werewolf!HAH! GOTCHA!**_

OMG! EDDY! LOOK! Its JACOB!A/N GOT YA THERE!

**Hello gang! Wat up?**

_**Jacob?!**_

Whoa! Unexpected! Wat up Big Doggie?

**Well… I just came here looking for a cabin…Do you have one?**

_Yeah! Its right here! But… well… I guess you can keep alice quiet…(or eat her)_

Umm Well you see*Cough* I have no shelter…Uh Whats Bella doing.? Why is she…sucking on…the…cabin?

BAGEL CABINS TASTE GOOD!Umm luv… You don't know how many dogs pee on that wood… Or poo…BLAST* Im bella I blew up the cabin umm.. Im in big…trouble?BELLA!!! WE ARE OUTTA HERE! Jacob. Need a ride?A/N No need To tell me it sucked… 


	10. snow cabin surprise explode

Bella & The Bagel Shop! C 9? I remember! C 9 Part 2!

**Bella**_**`Alice**__**`Edward **_**???**

**Huh? Oh my! They are here?! Heh Perfect! Fresh food!**

Well. Is this our cabin?A/N Oh yeah! I forgot A/N! Well im leaving soon so umm ya I-I guess that's…IT?

_**Umm bella.. I saw a werewolf!HAH! GOTCHA!**_

OMG! EDDY! LOOK! Its JACOB!A/N GOT YA THERE!

**Hello gang! Wat up?**

_**Jacob?!**_

Whoa! Unexpected! Wat up Big Doggie?

**Well… I just came here looking for a cabin…Do you have one?**

_Yeah! Its right here! But… well… I guess you can keep alice quiet…(or eat her)_

Umm Well you see*Cough* I have no shelter…Uh Whats Bella doing.? Why is she…sucking on…the…cabin?

BAGEL CABINS TASTE GOOD!Umm luv… You don't know how many dogs pee on that wood… Or poo…BLAST* Im bella I blew up the cabin umm.. Im in big…trouble?BELLA!!! WE ARE OUTTA HERE! Jacob. Need a ride?A/N No need To tell me it sucked… 


	11. disaster

Bella & The Bagel Shop Disaster! short

Bella

**A/N Oh No! Edward Left bella All alone…With the **bagel shop!

Here you go ma'am!

Thank you! Mmm! Good!

'Welcome!Sir! SIR! Your bagel!

Thanks!

Elcome!

**(Hmm, The new recipe is doing good, wait! New recipe?! Oh no! I forgot the blood!)**

**(well… I don't need it!)**


	12. AN

Bella & The Bagel Shop! A/n notes!

A/N people Please. I need reviews r I could be a hobo!

A/N YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?


	13. Bella goes to the doctor

Bella & the Bagel Shop! C 10!

A/N YAY! I JUST GOT HOME! WHO REALLY CARES!? THE CHP IS ALL ABOUT…I DON'T REALLY KNOW! GOOD FOR ME!

**BELLA **EDWARD!

Bella what do you want for dinner?

Bagels.

Okay?What about breakfast tomorrow?

Bagels.

Lunch?

Bagels.

Bella, you look sick.

Bagels don't get sick.

Yup you're sick.

At the doctors

Doc; Bella has bagel fever, she needs an operation. But first she needs 12 days of taking this medicine,here.

At home

**Yuck!**

Bella its only a pill. *** shiver * **(vampires HATE this stuff)

**So whens my operation?**

Hmmm, I think… Two more… Days.

**Will it hurt?**

I think you're asleep.

Two days later

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

BELLA! Its not your turn.

Oh.

Doc: Bella?

Now you can yell.

**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

TWO HOURS LATER AT HOME

Well you are all do ya want for din?

Bagels.

**A/N Well. That was a little longer.**


End file.
